There have been many debates over what type of punishment to use on children. The main controversy is over whether or not corporal punishment, or spanking, is an appropriate discipline technique. Some research has shown that using corporal punishment increases the chances of aggressive behavior (see CBS News link below). According to Psychology Today “3-year-olds who are spanked twice a month are one and half times more likely to be aggressive at age five than children who are not spanked.”
As a social worker, corporal punishment is an unacceptable means of punishment especially due to the higher risk of physically abusive parents involved in social services. A good alternative to corporal punishment is the use of time outs. Time outs can come in many different forms, the main goal is to disrupt the environment where the unwanted behavior was occurring. For most of my parents, I use a parenting program called “1-2-3 Magic”. This parenting program utilizes time outs as a way to stop negative behaviors such as whining, temper tantrums, and martyrdom. I will go more into the 1-2-3 Magic program at a later date.
The general rule for time outs is that the child serve 1 minute per year old, so if you have a four year old he or she would sit in time out for four minutes. Time outs don’t have to be the traditional stand in the corner or sit in a chair. For some children, the traditional time out may turn into a giant war of wills so be ready to get creative. 1-2-3 Magic suggests time outs could be served in a room, not necessarily the child’s room. I’ve also had to use time out alternatives, such as timing out the toy that the child is playing with (i.e. putting the toy out of sight/out of reach for the time out). It all depends on what your child responds to.
In order for time outs to be effective, you must remember to remain calm throughout disciplining. About.com summarizes some general scientific findings stating that “When parents remain calm and do not threaten or embarrass a child or raise their voice, time outs can work well to correct children's behavior. Time outs are a good way to defuse a situation and give both parents and children a chance to calm down. Time outs can be used effectively in conjunction with other parenting strategies such as preventing misbehavior, understanding a child's behavior, and encouraging good behavior.”
1-2-3 Magic author Dr. Phelan writes in his book that the two biggest parenting mistakes you can make are too much talking and too much emotion. Remember that time out is no time to discuss the morality of the child’s behavior. It is also important to not scream at the child, this just shows the child that while the child didn’t get what he or she wanted, the child definitely got under your skin and that is rewarding to the child. The best way to utilize a time out is decide on the type of time out you will use, such as sending the child to his or her room, adhering to the recommended time of 1 minute per year old, set a timer, start the timer once the tantrum is over, and leave emotions and talking out of the discipline routine.
For More Information:
· Psychology Today: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nurturing-resilience/201009/spanking-makes-kids-more-aggressive-the-research-is-clear
· Time Outs Work Says a New Study: http://childparenting.about.com/b/2011/02/14/time-outs-work-says-a-new-study.htm
· 1-2-3 Magic: http://www.parentmagic.com/
spare the rod, spoil the child.
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